It’s hard being a Broke-ass. It impacts your ability to function like a normal person. It affects all your existing relationships and really hurts your ability to forge new ones. I joke about it but frankly, it’s a never ending series of awkward moments and utter embarrassment. So what becomes crucial in your life are your friends. I mean good friends who force you out of the house and don’t make you feel like a financial burden.
Being a Broke-ass Socialite™ is a crucible. Only the best of your friends will go with you to your questionable free events in nosebleed seats and never make you feel like a loser. The rest will fall by the wayside. Broke-assedness isn’t forever. In the end you will not miss those people.
But the guilt is real. You will find yourself willing to fake illness just so you don’t have to deny that you’d kill for a cocktail with a group of friends and pride rears it’s head. You can just imaging what my inner dialogue is like. Actually maybe you can’t. It’s scary in there.
But due to some excellent supportive human beings (you know who you are!), I’m able to remain sane. The guilt is still there but I keep a running tab in my head. When I get myself back on my financial footings, a lot of people will have the check slapped out of their hands like I’m Mutombo.
Now, Broke-ass Dating…. Some women can go out on dates gratis as an of course. I’m not that cute, I’ve always gone dutch. But let’s be honest. I don’t date broke or otherwise.
I recently joined Tinder. I had a plan. I was going to wait until I won a ticket for a concert via doNYC, then hit up one of my matches. Yeah… that didn’t work. Too last minute. I haven’t given up thought. Maybe I can stipulate in my profile that I’m looking for someone to be a spontaneous chaperone. It’s upfront and honest. Could work. But it’s still going to be hard for me to negotiate drinks after. Telling dudes that I’m not going dutch is the height of presumption. But there are weeks where I can’t even manage a $6 shot. “I’ll just have a water” makes you look like you have a substance abuse problem when the next time you’re flush, you’re drinking them under the table. It’s also part of the “I’ll just have a salad” BS.
You also don’t want to undersell yourself. Dammit, I’m worth a $16 cocktail or two, or three! Definitely three! Dating shouldn’t be an exercise in misery from the start. Save that for the lack of chemistry and questionable hygiene. *sigh* I’ll figure it out. But if you have any suggestions, please post them below. I need all the help I can get!